There is a single link that creates a connection forging a nearly unbreakable bond between certain habits that many of us tend to indulge in across our daily lives and the emotion of fear.
Habits that may be subconscious to us, yet playing out loudly to the world a tune that we are in fact immersed in patterns of fear in our daily lives.
Of course, any one of these habits may be present in us without any real issue, but when we start to notice that we are displaying more than one of these, we will begin to recognise that perhaps we are driven by our fears rather than our desires in life.
The more I observed people that lived in fear of not having enough, the more I saw particular patterns being dominantly displayed; patterns such as people hoarding and accumulating whatever they could in an attempt to stifle that fear. Having said that, it didn’t stop with material possessions. There is nothing wrong with collecting a particular something if it is your passion to do so and again, a single one of these five does not suggest there is an issue present. Yet there are other dead set tell tales that when coupled together, demonstrate very clearly we are living in fear, as the nature of the fear permeates our very being.
I first started down this path of thought many years ago when I decided that decluttering and living a minimalist life was not just one of the keys to genuine happiness, but also a sign of a healthy respect for the ebb and flow nature of the world.
Here is the reality of things without perceiving the world through any fear based filters:
We will always have enough, as long as we keep the cycle moving. There is a Universal law that governs this very thing, and it is called the Law of Reciprocity. It says that if we give something to another with zero intention of receiving anything in return, then we create a space within our lives to allow something to come back to us. The place where most of us tend to foul this process is when we give WITH intention of ‘getting’. Sure, we have given and therefore created space, yet the intention we held for receiving when we gave, immediately fills this space and doesn’t allow any room for us to receive.
We are not being punished by the Universe or any such thing, we have just literally closed off the space and there is no room to receive anything because we filled the space with intention of receiving rather than keeping it open to actually receive.
So how do we know if we are living a life immersed in fear? Well, here are five big tell tales that suggest that very thing:
- As we drive along in peak hour traffic, we all see the person that races forward down to the head of an ending lane, cuts in front of a multitude of people, and then refuses to allow others to merge in front of them. We often curse at such a person for being arrogant and inconsiderate, yet in reality being arrogant is not the root of the issue here. Such a behavior reeks of fear of not being first, not having enough, not living in sufficiency. If you find yourself not willing to allow another to merge ahead of you in traffic, there may be a root reason that starts with fear of not being ‘first’
- Overeating is one of the biggest signs that we have an inherent fear of not having enough in life. This behaviour comes from a very primitive mindset that when food is available, we are best to consume it because we don’t really know when the next meal will be there. This is clearly not an issue in this day and age being that there is a store on every corner stocking foods from all over the world. Never have we had more choice and availability than we do right now. However, some of us tend to stock pile the food within ourselves because we are still operating under this primitive mindset.
- Hoarding and accumulation of material things in our life, living with clutter all around us, on our work desk, in our houses and living spaces. When we allow our mind to be the home of thoughts such as “Even though it’s junk, I may find a use for this item at some point, I better hang on to it…” we are living from a place of fear. Fear based thinking prevents the truth that when we need something, it will become available to us. So instead of trusting in that, we hold on to whatever we can in the event that we may find a need for it at some point. The thing is, how often are we surrounded by a mountain of junk, yet the one thing we need is the one thing we do not have?
- When we make decisions, if we are living from a point of fear we will often tend to make the decisions towards the negative, or moving away from what we don’t want rather than towards what we do want. Because a decision making process is intangible, this sign post of fear is a little more difficult to gauge within ourselves, and requires constant vigilance with our observations at each point that we make a choice. Next time you make a decision, ask yourself are you choosing something you want, or are you choosing not to have something you don’t want? There is a very subtle, but very profound difference.
- The last sign that we are living in fear is also the most powerful. When we are fearful, we don’t want to accept that things are out of our control. As such, we become addicted to controlling everything. Of course, control is all an illusion anyway, but that doesn’t stop us from scrambling constantly to control every aspect of our lives, including the people around us. Again, take time to observe the way in which you interact with the world. If you have controlling tendencies then there is a real chance you are living your life in fear.
All of these aspects of a fear based life can be addressed and overcome via observation, however we need to be open to seeing what comes back to us, and then brave enough to do the work that needs doing to release our fears.
For those that are, but don’t have any real ideas of where to begin, reach out to us at Life Warrior, as we offer coaching on many levels including living a fearless life.
Author – Chris Jones (Life Warrior)
Image – Artem Popov (Flickr)